Is it too much to ask for what actually i am thinking about?or would i be at fault if i wish so?….questioning myself about these two things the answers i got were YES! its too much to ask for in my case,as the situation and the circumstances i am in it ll be inequitable to think so.
The thing i am talking about is just for once or once in a while i want to be MYSELF,to be on MY OWN,to be what i USED to be,to execute things MY WAY,to act upon MY OWN WILL,see and perceive things just keeping MYSELF in mind.
I just want to forget about everything else thats going on around me,forget about people,forget about the weather,forget about those various worries and tensions,forget about house hold operations,forget about getting up early in the morning,forget about making break fast for some one else,forget about ironing & washing clothes,forget about kitchen,forget about getting back to home within the time limits,forget about the jitters that i experience when getting late,forget about going to mum’s place just for helping her to execute a dawat (family party) well,forget to worry about mum that how will she manage all those chores now when i am not around,forget this that what ever i am doing i am being watched,forget about dusting and cleaning,forget about the restricted sleeping hours & forget about everything that makes me feel being restricted & that makes me run in a certain kind of day to day routine.
I want to set myself free as i previously was,sleep and eat and drink and read and surf and walk and dance and watch tv and shop and laugh and see frends and dine out and cook and clean and wash and dust off and assemble things and watch the rain silently with no one at all around me and lie in bed aimlessly staring the ceiling and endlessly talk on the fone and beautify myself and love and meet people and express and write and sing and visit loved ones and everything else that one can do or i used to do…i want all that to be done the way i want to do it. just for once i want all these things not to be dependent on any other xyz tasks,or ant other xyz operation or person to influence any of my actions.
Am i really asking for much?cant really decide……a thought says that YES! m asking for much as dats all not possible now.i gota reevaluate things and form neew priorities and fix my likes and dislikes according to them.i cant be MYSELF anymore.