Monthly Archives: September 2010

HUM Lerkian!

I had been observing something and feeling it touch my heart for quite a few days. I had been upto noticing and taking a deeper look at the life style and the daily routines of the women around me….not exactly around me but the women in general may be.

Be it a 5 year old baby , or a 10 year old girl, or a 15 year old teenager, or a 25 year old student, or a 32 year old wife, or a 40 year old widow, pr a 35 year old single woman, or a 29 year old divorcee, or a 50 year old mother or a 70 year old grand mother…….aaaalllll these women are just up to one thing, apart from the differences they have there is just one thing they all practice and either happily or half heartedly they have to do it. either they are from the different walks of life, different professions,different society status,different religions,different countries….they all are busy making people happy around themselves.

Not caring much for themselves,they just keep on going on and on and on to satisfy people, to ease them,to bring the best to them, to make the most out of everything to please every body around them, going beyond limits, going beyond their own berdasht and capabilities…..they all run in a circle of rejoicing people.

Is that what all women are for?and do they really get in return what they deserve?the appreciation, the acknowledgment, the love, the care, the time, the attention they deserve…do they really get all that….or at the end of every effort they always receive a pile of disagreements, abusive words, lack of attention, all sorts of heart breaking behaviors.

i dont understand that why are’nt women careless about all these things,why do they kep track of all the minutest details even if she knows what -ve reaction she ll get in return?. why dont they just be their own selves and donot kill their own wishes and desires for others sake.

I myself lie in the above stated category of women and probably i find myself helpless in becoming the opposite to the women  stated above.i dont have any suitable words to end this i am leaving it incomplete sans conclusion.


Posted by on September 23, 2010 in Heart talk


Forget about & To be?????

Is it too much to ask for what actually i am thinking about?or would i be at fault if i wish so?….questioning myself about these two things the answers i got were YES! its too much to ask for in my case,as the situation and the circumstances i am in it ll be inequitable to think so.

The thing i am talking about is just for once or once in a while i want to be MYSELF,to be on MY OWN,to be what i USED to be,to execute things MY WAY,to act upon MY OWN WILL,see and perceive things just keeping MYSELF in mind.

I just want to forget about everything else thats going on around me,forget about people,forget about the weather,forget about those various worries and tensions,forget about house hold operations,forget about getting up early in the morning,forget about making break fast for some one else,forget about ironing & washing clothes,forget about kitchen,forget about getting back to home within the time limits,forget about the jitters that i experience when getting late,forget about going to mum’s place just for helping her to execute a dawat (family party) well,forget to worry about mum that how will she manage all those chores now when i am not around,forget this that what ever i am doing i am being watched,forget about dusting and cleaning,forget about the restricted sleeping hours & forget about everything that makes me feel being restricted & that makes me run in a certain kind of day to day routine.

I want to set myself free as i previously was,sleep and eat and drink and read and surf and walk and dance and watch tv and shop and laugh and see frends and dine out and cook and clean and wash and dust off and assemble things and watch the rain silently with no one at all around me and lie in bed aimlessly staring the ceiling and endlessly talk on the fone and beautify myself and love and meet people and express and write and sing and visit loved ones and everything else that one can do or i used to do…i want all that to be done the way i want to do it. just for once i want all these things not to be dependent on any other xyz tasks,or ant other xyz operation or person to influence any of my actions.

Am i really asking for much?cant really decide……a thought says that YES! m asking for much as dats all not possible now.i gota reevaluate things and form neew priorities and fix my likes and dislikes according to them.i cant be MYSELF anymore.


Posted by on September 5, 2010 in Heart talk